Konzert 06
Chaya Czernowin
SCENE 1
BLUE NOTEBOOK #10
There was a redheaded man who had no eyes or ears. He didn’t have hair either, so he was called a redhead arbitrarily.
He couldn’t talk because he had no mouth. He didn’t have a nose either.
He didn’t even have arms or legs. He had no stomach, he had no back, no spine, and he didn’t have any insides at all. There was nothing! So, we don’t even know who we’re talking about.
We’d better not talk about him any more.
SCENE 2
AN INCIDENT INVOLVING PETRAKOV
So, once Petrakov wanted to go to sleep but, lying down, missed his bed. He hit the floor so hard he lay there unable to get up. So Petrakov mustered his remaining strength and got on his hands and knees. But his strength abandoned him and he fell on his stomach again, and he just lay there.
Petrakov lay on the floor for about five hours. At first he just lay there, but then he fell asleep. Sleep refreshed Petrakov’s strength. He woke up invigorated, got up, walked around the room and cautiously lay down on the bed.
“Well,” he thought, “now I’ll get some sleep.”
But now he’s not feeling very sleepy. So Petrakov keeps turning in his bed and can’t fall asleep.
And that’s it, more or less.
SCENE 3
SONETT
An amazing thing happened to me today, I suddenly forgot what came first — 7 or 8.
I went to my neighbors and asked them about their opinion on this matter.
Great was their and my amazement, when they suddenly discovered that they couldn't recall the counting order. They remembered 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, but forgot what came next.
We all went to a commercial grocery store, the one that's on the corner of Znamenskaya and Basseinaya streets, to consult a cashier on our predicament. The cashier gave us a sad smile, took a small hammer out of her mouth, and moving her nose slightly back and forth, she said:
“In my opinion, a seven comes after an eight, only if an eight comes after a seven.”
We thanked the cashier and ran cheerfully out of the store. But there, thinking carefully about the cashier's words, we got sad again because her words were void of any meaning.
What were we supposed to do? We went to the Summer Garden and started counting trees. But reaching a six in count, we stopped and started arguing: In the opinion of some, a 7 went next; but in the opinion of others an 8 did.
We were arguing for a long time, when by some sheer luck, a child fell off a bench and broke both of his jaws. That distracted us from our argument. And then we all went home.
SCENE 4
BLUE NOTEBOOK #10
There was a redheaded man who had no eyes or ears. He didn’t have hair either, so he was called a redhead arbitrarily.
He couldn’t talk because he had no mouth. He didn’t have a nose either.
He didn’t even have arms or legs. He had no stomach, he had no back, no spine, and he didn’t have any insides at all. There was nothing! So, we don’t even know who we’re talking about.
We’d better not talk about him any more.
SCENE 5
THE MEETING
Now, one day, a man went to work, and on the way he met another man, who, having bought a loaf of Polish bread, was heading back home where he came from.
And that’s it, more or less.
(Texte: Daniil Charms aus dem Zyklus »Fälle«)
